So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
