Betty ford says i'm here all night
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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