Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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