I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
