all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
