i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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