Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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