I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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