so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
