Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
