i may or may not be watching the land before time
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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