so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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