it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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