lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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