fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
