So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
