you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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