Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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