so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
