Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
