The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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