well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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