Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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