I didn't shave. On purpose
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
