my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
