I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
