also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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