Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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