Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
