He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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