so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
