i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This toilet bowl is my home.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
