So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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