They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
