I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
