First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
