No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
