I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
