I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
