I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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