Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
