on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
