So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
