So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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