Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
