i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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