filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
