if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
