tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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