Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
where are you?
Hypothermia
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize