I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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