its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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