i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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