"it" just moved
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
