she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
