you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
