Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize