suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
