I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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