i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
